I hate my teenage daughter and my teenage son.  I am tired.  I am so tired.  I am tired of the remarks and the arguments and nothing ever being good enough for these spoiled rotten kids.  My daughter thinks that she is entitled to stay out until whenever, come and go as she pleases and do whatever she wants while living under my roof even though she has failed college and has to move home.  She can’t afford to live on her own of course.  How could she?  She makes $8 an hour part time.  She HATES living here and I hear it every single flipping day.  If you hate it here so much, get the F out.  I really don’t care.  Leave your car though, it’s in my name. 

                So, at breakfast, I really just try to have a nice conversation with my teenagers.  I ask about their homework and any quizzes or tests they may have that day.  Why do I get such a mean response?  “WHAT?!”.  I get that response a lot.  Today, as I was driving my son to school because God forbid I am sheltering him from riding the bus at 6:20am every morning, and I just wanted to have a nice conversation but instead I got snips and snide remarks.  All I asked was, “Do you want me to pick you up in the upper parking lot or lower lot for swim practice?”  “Upper I said!  Why do you ask me a million times which lot to pick me up at?  Jeez!”  My feelings were actually hurt and I cried.    He didn’t see me cry because I didn’t want to seem like a baby.  “See ya.” He says as he gets out of the car.  “Fuck you.” I say under my breath after the car door shuts. 

                My daughter argues everything.  By everything, I mean every fucking thing that comes out of my mouth.  “Unload the dishwasher please while I drive your brother to practice.” 

                “Ugh!  I can’t believe you are making me unload the dishwasher again!  Why can’t he ever unload?”

                “Because you are a member of this family and you have chores and this is your job.”

                “He NEVER has to unload the dishwasher!”

                “He takes out the trash and gets firewood..do you want to trade jobs with him?”

                “Yes.”

                “Fine.  Good Lord,  I just want the goddamn dishwasher unloaded.  Holy fucking Christ.”

                My teenagers bring out the worst, and I mean absolute worst, language from my mouth.  I have never cussed so much in my life.  Not even when I was a teenager myself.  I use the F word daily.  Every fucking day I say the F word.  It is the only language they can understand I have discovered.  If I say, “Do your Spanish homework.” I get no response AT ALL.  If I say, “Do your fucking Spanish homework!” I get an immediate reaction…I hear the backpack zipper open and the notebook come out.  Amazing. 

                So today I give up.  I don’t care what the hell these teenagers do.  I need a vacation from them.  I hate them so I am not going to deal with them today.  Find your own ride to practice, do your own laundry, cook your own dinner, make your own lunch.  I don’t care.